This is so weird
Oct. 1st, 2025 05:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
graffiti_marinaI'm furloughed. No working, can't do any part time anything. This also means drastically watching bills and not spending ANYTHING. I hate this because I don't know how long this will last. The one in 2018 while I was in Japan lasted over a month. I'm not worried....yet but it doesn't make me feel better. This is such bullshit.
Since I have to make the most of the situation, I'm still planning on getting up like normal but work on cleaning the office and taking more photos for my website. I will try to take walks in the morning because I don't plan on driving to OT and I'll eventually make time to go to the community gym. And the annoyance of the office saying "Hey you guys can meet us at TP G later for lunch if you want" give me a fucking break.
So one of the Unitoki orders got seized by USPS. What I don't understand is HOW????!!! How the fuck does a package get seized when all it is are toys?? I'm over this tariff bullshit and then randomly getting my package of toys?? The company said not to worry and that its a "glitch" but wtf they told me that this was a glitch two weeks ago. I don't want a refund because I want the plush, this also makes me worried to order from custom makers if there's the constant threat of taking my shit. OVer fucking toys.
Another thing that's been bothering me is trying to put my life back to normal if that makes sense. I used to want to live my best, be happy about anything...be happy adding to my collection, going on trips, going to eat, being around friends and it's like I feel that I'm horrible for wanting that. I'm sad my brother in law and nephew, his girlfriend and her daughter are gone forever. I feel guilt trying to move on. It's not fair for me to be happy. It's not fair that they are gone. I see people happy and I know I want and need to be but I still feel guilty. It also bothers me hearing about all the horrible things going on. Why am I reading a church was set on fire? Why am I reading people are being killed just for being at the wrong place at the wrong time? A family that was taking a hike came across a murderer who took their lives while their children ran. It's hard reading all this and still be like "I still need to live my life" I know I can't do anything. I can't do anything at all but mourn. Then I'm scared to do anything. I'm scared for the one time I go to the store someone wants me dead because I'm black. I'm afraid the one time I go to a restaurant someone wants me dead because they have "mental issues". I'm scared to be attacked because someone doesn't like anyone that isn't a white republican. There isn't anything I can do. I can stay home and never leave. That's it. There is nothing I can do.
Since I have to make the most of the situation, I'm still planning on getting up like normal but work on cleaning the office and taking more photos for my website. I will try to take walks in the morning because I don't plan on driving to OT and I'll eventually make time to go to the community gym. And the annoyance of the office saying "Hey you guys can meet us at TP G later for lunch if you want" give me a fucking break.
So one of the Unitoki orders got seized by USPS. What I don't understand is HOW????!!! How the fuck does a package get seized when all it is are toys?? I'm over this tariff bullshit and then randomly getting my package of toys?? The company said not to worry and that its a "glitch" but wtf they told me that this was a glitch two weeks ago. I don't want a refund because I want the plush, this also makes me worried to order from custom makers if there's the constant threat of taking my shit. OVer fucking toys.
Another thing that's been bothering me is trying to put my life back to normal if that makes sense. I used to want to live my best, be happy about anything...be happy adding to my collection, going on trips, going to eat, being around friends and it's like I feel that I'm horrible for wanting that. I'm sad my brother in law and nephew, his girlfriend and her daughter are gone forever. I feel guilt trying to move on. It's not fair for me to be happy. It's not fair that they are gone. I see people happy and I know I want and need to be but I still feel guilty. It also bothers me hearing about all the horrible things going on. Why am I reading a church was set on fire? Why am I reading people are being killed just for being at the wrong place at the wrong time? A family that was taking a hike came across a murderer who took their lives while their children ran. It's hard reading all this and still be like "I still need to live my life" I know I can't do anything. I can't do anything at all but mourn. Then I'm scared to do anything. I'm scared for the one time I go to the store someone wants me dead because I'm black. I'm afraid the one time I go to a restaurant someone wants me dead because they have "mental issues". I'm scared to be attacked because someone doesn't like anyone that isn't a white republican. There isn't anything I can do. I can stay home and never leave. That's it. There is nothing I can do.
