A lot on my mind and enough on my plate
Jul. 13th, 2013 12:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
graffiti_marinaReally don’t need to be doing this, but I’m taking another miniature break from my homework. Of course! Haha what else would I be doing right now? Despicable Me is on in the background because my son was watching it but both of us left for pizza and now here I am again, a slave to work. I’m still questioning myself if it’s worth wasting the time I do with assignments and useless quiz questions. Will all of this really be worth the degree I’ll be getting in a few years and will it help me get a job outside of the one I have now? The whole reason I wanted to go back to college is because I didn’t want to be stuck working as a lowly cashier forever. I don’t care what anybody says, that is the lowest job you can have because everybody treats you like shit. It’s a decent job to have as a teenager to maybe mid twenties because it’s helping many go through school. I know older people prefer it’s slow pace when it can be and some ppl work as cashiers as a part time job to accompany their regular one……yeah I don’t know how I got off topic! School sucks. It always has and I don’t want to go anymore. I’m tired of papers and long ass message board posts. Strongly considering going to another school too since AMU’s financial aid department sucks so sooooo bad. Why is it that I signed up for summer classes and started last month but I won’t get my refund until September, well after all but one class is over?? Ughhhh.
I hate feeling like I don’t know what I want out of my life still. I hate feeling like I don’t have a particular direction I’m going in and that I’m still running around in circles. I thought as an adult I would have already decided what I want out of my life. Why should this be so difficult! The age old question "What do you want to be when you grow up??" Gee, I’d like to be a fashion model or designer or fashion photographer! Haha but I don’t fit the industry’s "ideal" woman for any of these positions. I just wanna be famous for no reason lol. I’m tired of doing work that sucks and I don’t like and would rather mess around and by that just enjoy everyday, joke around, play around, travel everywhere and never have to worry about anything. No money, no bills, no assignments! and not trying to make people happy! I mean, I’d always want to make my family happy but that should be the only thing I want to be concerned about! I’ll admit it, I just don’t want to work LOL. I guess I wouldn’t mind working as long as it was something I wanted!!!
UGH….and speaking of that…..I told Alexi that I was going to Korea and that I was excited, but she seemed to be talking down on the idea of me going and leaving behind my son and maybe-soon-to-be-ex-husband lol. That I shouldn’t be in the military anymore and that I don’t need a career as long as my husband works. Ummm WTF no. That’s defeating the whole purpose of me going to school. I had my chance at being a stay at home mom, but while I work as well, I give my son someone to look up to and I’m able to stand on my own two feet and will be able to provide for him and myself to live comfortably. I need to think more wisely about the money that needs to be saved up for better things like a house and retirement since I don’t want to do anything once I retire from working LOL.
So the trip is on for New York city next month! It’s coming up really soon 20 days to be exact! And we are all staying in Times Square ahhhhhh!!!! How exciting! I’ll feel like Rachel Berry in Glee! Hawaii is in 52 days! How crazy my counter went from 169 down to the 50s!!!! It’ll be here before I know it now since New York and my stupid class will be occupying me for that time until then. Btw, have I mentioned that I hate college? I’m going to be taking three classes when I’m in NYC and one while in Hawaii. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
I hate feeling like I don’t know what I want out of my life still. I hate feeling like I don’t have a particular direction I’m going in and that I’m still running around in circles. I thought as an adult I would have already decided what I want out of my life. Why should this be so difficult! The age old question "What do you want to be when you grow up??" Gee, I’d like to be a fashion model or designer or fashion photographer! Haha but I don’t fit the industry’s "ideal" woman for any of these positions. I just wanna be famous for no reason lol. I’m tired of doing work that sucks and I don’t like and would rather mess around and by that just enjoy everyday, joke around, play around, travel everywhere and never have to worry about anything. No money, no bills, no assignments! and not trying to make people happy! I mean, I’d always want to make my family happy but that should be the only thing I want to be concerned about! I’ll admit it, I just don’t want to work LOL. I guess I wouldn’t mind working as long as it was something I wanted!!!
UGH….and speaking of that…..I told Alexi that I was going to Korea and that I was excited, but she seemed to be talking down on the idea of me going and leaving behind my son and maybe-soon-to-be-ex-husband lol. That I shouldn’t be in the military anymore and that I don’t need a career as long as my husband works. Ummm WTF no. That’s defeating the whole purpose of me going to school. I had my chance at being a stay at home mom, but while I work as well, I give my son someone to look up to and I’m able to stand on my own two feet and will be able to provide for him and myself to live comfortably. I need to think more wisely about the money that needs to be saved up for better things like a house and retirement since I don’t want to do anything once I retire from working LOL.
So the trip is on for New York city next month! It’s coming up really soon 20 days to be exact! And we are all staying in Times Square ahhhhhh!!!! How exciting! I’ll feel like Rachel Berry in Glee! Hawaii is in 52 days! How crazy my counter went from 169 down to the 50s!!!! It’ll be here before I know it now since New York and my stupid class will be occupying me for that time until then. Btw, have I mentioned that I hate college? I’m going to be taking three classes when I’m in NYC and one while in Hawaii. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
